Dating Advice for Shy Guys

As a shy guy, you've probably heard more than an earful of advice on how to bust out of your timid shell and engage women in witty repartee. Sure, these gregarious mentors may mean well, but they often forget that it's not easy to change who you are. Think of it in basketball terms. If your team lacks height, you don't repeatedly try to go inside. No, you use your speed, passing and outside shooting to beat the competition. Same goes with dating: Play up your strengths, and you'll improve your odds of romantic success. Here's how to do just that.

Be eye-catchingly honest
Remember George Costanza's approach in Seinfeld: "My name is George. I'm unemployed and live with my parents." Hey, it worked for him. So why not try being straight up with women? Tell them you're not much of a player. David Wells, 31, confirms, "When I was younger, I made the mistake of thinking I had to act suave," he says. But since then, he's upfront about the fact that he's shy. "A lot of women think it's charming!" he says.

Ask for help
Damsels in distress have been doing this for years; there's no reason guys can't take advantage of women's desire to swoop in and save the day, too. Just be sure to pick a topic on which women will feel they can offer some assistance. You'll rarely go wrong seeking style advice ("Excuse me, but I need a woman's opinion on this jacket. Is it a keeper, or should it never leave my closet again?") or relationships ("Hey, my pal and I need a woman's perspective on how long a guy should wait before calling after a date. What's your opinion?"). Asking for advice will diffuse the pressure of it being a pickup.

Choose your venue wisely
It's much easier to meet and talk to women in places where there's something to talk about. That's why shy guys may be better off skipping your typical bar or café and attending a place with conversation-worthy surroundings, like an art gallery or charity function. "Did you enter the silent auction?" "What do you think about that painting?" Your icebreakers are already built-in. Plus, you're not some random guy. You're "a guy at this event," which will allay her defenses and work in your favor.

Just add a question mark
You're starting to get to know this woman and suddenly you can't think of what to say. Here's an easy solution. Simply repeat the last notable thing she said and place a question mark after it. "Oh, you work as a female professional wrestler; what's it like??" Bingo.

Bring your best wingman
There are guys who can help you meet women. And there are guys who will do the exact opposite. Go out to the bars or wherever with the former. If he's married, that can be even better. Married guys are not competition, and they prove you have responsible friends.


Viewed:967 | JeNnY | 02/27/09

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